Complex Equations...

Remember the complex numbers in Mathematics??? The numbers which have real and imaginary part (a+bi). The methods for solving complex equations generally depend on the type of equation, both the kind of expressions in the equation and the kind of values that may be assumed by the unknowns/variables. 

Wait wait wait.... Before you stop reading further thinking that it a blog on complex equations of Maths, let me tell you that I'm not an ardent fan of Mathematics and this is surely not a mathematical blog... Its just that the general concepts that we learned in school seem fascinating when we relate it to our day to day life and understanding. 

Our life too is complex.. isn't it?? It too has both the real and imaginary part. REAL part can be understood as the GOAL, the purpose of our life and imaginary part--- perhaps, the emotions attached.. Maya as we say...

Life is simple or complex was the question in my mind. Many great people have said that Life is simple. 

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” - Confucious.

"Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing." - Oscar Wilde

I agreed to the quotes to much extent... But, when I think about it from another angle, I get the answer - Life is complex. How can life be simple?? God made such a HUGE universe. There are so many things to know and to understand.. The more you explore the God's creation, the more you feel that there is more to it to explore. As they say, its a journey towards infinity...  It is made up of so many components, that there is no formula and no easy answers. Every person has to make their own path through life. There is no predefined path. Life cannot be settled by hard and fast rules. The right road for one might be wrong for another. In the life's journey, we don't have sign-boards, it's not all brightly lit, it can be very bumpy at times. Then, how do we choose the direction?? What do we do, when we are at crossroads??? Isn't it sounding very complex?? 

Perhaps, it is sounding complex because evolution has equipped us with a brain which is capable of thinking more than what is actually required..;) .. the way I am thinking right now...  I may end up making it more complex, the more I think. So....shall stop here!

The only solution is "Believe that we CAN make it simple", when we feel that it is getting complicated... We need to keep on simplifying it until it gets to the END. We can make it simple by accepting the fact that we don't have control over vagaries of life. What we need is an objective, a purpose and a belief.

Coming out of the COCOON

"It's more of Brown coloured sweet water !!!", I frowned at the cup of Tea. 

"Ye tera ghar nahi hai jo tujhe Adrak wali kadak chai mile. This is Hostel (This is not your home, where you get Ginger Tea)", said Ranju quickly having her first sip.   

"There is a Tea stall nearby. Shall we go?", I asked.

"Nahi Didi.... Have you seen any girl having Tea there???", asked Preeti - The most girlie kind of a girl I ever met.

"No... but...", I thought for a while.

"Let's be the first ones to do that.", Ranju completed my sentence.

So... We went near the Tea-stall. Somewhere around 10 customers (all men) were there. 

"Bhaiyya, Teen Chai", I said. ... We felt that everyone there is staring at us with amusement. "Parcel", continued Ranju adjusting my request. 

We get the comfort zone only when we can't be singled out in crowd. Don't know why, but we girls (specially Indian girls)  tend to think more in this way.. We are perhaps to some extent brought up that way. We have to think a lot on "What will others think ?, Does it look good?" 

Going for shopping alone?? - Ahem... Is it that urgent? Let me wait for some company. 

Going for a movie alone --- AAh! that's completely insane...

Having Lunch/Dinner in a restaurant alone - Better I take parcel.

Wanna catch a bus? Gotto run?? - Most of the girlie girls prefer to wait for the next bus and walk in their standard speed. 

Want to play an outdoor game - Again, you seek for company, a proper park ( you don't really appreciate the thought of playing in the Gali.) Guys can play Gali cricket, but gals cant play in Gali (that's an unsaid rule). We all know that most of the girls after teenage give up playing outdoor games (there's  some exception, though). They loose interest because most of the times they don't get the right company... and it is hard to get such company in such society. 

I know some of my friends, who seriously depend upon their boyfriends / Brothers for the smallest of the daily needs that come across. We have this thick shell of the so called protection around us that coming out of it is a big deal. You get so much accustomed to it that you don't feel anything wrong in it, and in fact, you start liking it. 

I'm not talking about "Naari Shakti Zindabad" stuff. I'm not arguing that girls and boys are equally strong physically and mentally. 

I just want to say that women of 21st century should come out of the cocoon of stereotypes she is confined to, to some extent, if not fully. Come out from it slowly and steadily, if not at once. I just am pondering that to have a single cup of tea in a tea stall, you are bound to think.. WHY?? Is it because of the society we live in or is it my own "inside the box" thinking???

NAGAVALLI.

Hang On! Hang On! If you are guessing that it is about the upcoming Venkatesh starring, Sequel of Chandramukhi, Telugu Movie - Nagavalli, you are absolutely WRONG!!

It is about my friend - my childhood friend - my first friend after I understood the meaning of the word "friend".

I was in 1st standard when I met her. She was my classmate- rather say, Bench-mate. She was extremely cute with dimpled cheeks and dimpled chin. We had companionship of nearly 6 years after that. She was the Ishaan Awasthi (TZP Kid) of my class. Least interested in studies. She was always ready to donate her things... pencils and erasers and even her copies!!! I remember how we used her copies as roughly as we could to play!
Her home was very near to our school; she used to come by Tanga- the Ghoda Gaadi (Horse-Cart). On the other hand, mine was too far and I travelled by school-bus. We would always invite each other to our homes ( I knowing that it is anyhow not going to happen, our parents wont allow).  Relating an interesting incident below, when I was in 1st standard!!!

One fine day, she told me that she wants to come to my home and entered my school bus along with me. Now, how could I say NO.?? I was happy... but was afraid about my mom's reaction. She told me that she has informed her brother. So.. The bus started.. In every two minutes she would ask "When will we reach your home?" She never had such a long journey it seemed. At bus stop, Mom was waiting for us. I gave my bag to Mom. 

Mom asked, "Who is she???".  
"My friend!!! She wanted to visit our home..." , I said.
"I told her that my home is very far.. but she already told her brother... so... I .." I continued justifying that I didn't invite her. 
My sweet mom smiled and didn't say anything and I thanked God (I don't really know if I knew what thanking God was, but I'm sure I took a sigh of relief). Mom prepared gulab jamuns that day for us. I gave her my frock to wear, and we played that evening.. extremely happily...I wished her home was near to mine...  Dad came back from office. He looked at my mom and asked with gesture about her. Dad went to Bedroom after listening to the whole story, not bothering much. 
My paternal uncle came after some time and he was astonished to see such a small child, and.. kind of.. bashed my parents for not bothering to take her back to her home. He was worried that her parents will be worried by this time. 
"She is hardly 6 years, what will you do if she cries in the night for her mom????" , He asked my parents. "Give me her bag, I'll drop her now.", he said.
"I will go tomorrow", she cried. 
I too cried, but did not dare to say a word before my uncle. 
My uncle took her in his arms and lovingly said "Your mom would be worried, Lets go to home". 
He asked her "Where is your home?".  
"Ummm.... Uncle... There is a temple and a BIG Tree... There are so many birds on it. They do "chi -chi" all the time. My home is near to that place", she replied innocently, wiping her tears. You can guess what reaction one must be having after hearing this..  :D
When they reached school, the watchman told that her parents were so much worried that they have already registered a  police complaint. Somehow, she reached her home safely that night, with my uncle's strong will. We came to know later that she was a single child in her family, and had no brother. 

This small tale is remembered again and again in my home, till date... :) 

Years passed by, and we still were best of friends. Her only problem was studies. I remember another incident, I still remember it with much detail...It goes back to sometime, when I was in 4th standard.

We were asked to submit H.W copies , my homework was complete, but my copy was not covered with the Brown sheet, which was a MUST. I was afraid.. As always, she readily donated a brown sheet. She removed it from her own copy and wrapped it neatly on mine. Erased her name and wrote mine. 
I asked her "How about yours?". 
She said with recklessness "My homework is anyhow not completed. No worries..". 
I submitted my copy happily and... she was punished. She was hit by scale and big tears rolling down her cheeks. I felt so bad, and  realized that I could have helped her complete her homework, rather than taking that sheet to save myself. I felt guilty, but I never expressed it, and ironically, I scolded her for not completing homework.

Slowly, my circle of friends changed. I started being more with my kind of students with whom I can discuss studies, with whom I could play knowledge oriented games apart from the regular childish 'hide and seek' sort of games.. I got the feeling  of "not my kinds" for her.  The innocence of friendship was gradually decreasing. With maturity, we start choosing friends.. Friendship no more happens automatically. We start looking at the characteristics: How good is she/he in studies, how one dresses up, how well he/she speaks in English... interests, values, ethics, etc.  


I was now in 9th standard.. and she was still in 7th Standard. After spending 2 years of unsuccessful attempts in 6th standard, she was somehow, promoted to 7th standard, with much difficulty. We were in different classes now, and obviously, we became distant with just a few hello, hi's and Byes..
That day, I had to do some decoration in our class. I needed some colours. She appeared in corridor and I casually told her about the decoration stuff. Again, she was ready with some colours, and offered them. 
I asked "How come you have all the colours?".  
"Its 'Drawing' Exam today", she replied.
"How can you give this to me??? It's your EXAM. Keep it for your-self. I'll get from else-where." I refused to take.
"I will have option of Pencil drawing, will opt for it. No worries..." she enforced me to take it.
I finally took 2-3 colours out of the bunch and thanked her.


That was the last time I met her. I never saw her again. Some said that she got married. Some said that she changed her school. I wished I could meet her one last time and say thanks. I wished I could do something for her. 
I tried to find her in orkut and facebook, when I joined these sites.. in vain. 
She has always been in my childhood memories that I cherish. 
I remember the way we played, the way we ate together, the way I scolded her, the way she cried when I was hurt... I never admired her qualities then. In fact, I never observed them. When I brood over these incidents, I realize that she taught me few great things, which school and studies can never teach one. She showed me unconditional love with the tiny concerns and tiny things of school-life. 
I feel lucky to have some true friends in my life, for whom I have this 'unconditional affection'. Friends... whom I accept as they are. 

The Spinning Arrows

"8 more hours".. "6".... "4".... "2"... "Half an hour more"... "Youhuu!!! Shift Hand-off. Week-off". I constantly looked at the spinning arrows in my watch (which seemed to be too slow). Not that I was very tired and not that I worked too hard...not that I have anything special to do this week-end... But I was waiting for a break.... Nine hours at work seemed to be unending...  "Why the time is running too slowly" has been my thought from quite some days, now. 

Contrary to the above thought, sometimes, I feel like time flies by. It seems just a few days back that I graduated from college and came to Hyderabad... and, now... its already been 4 years and 1 month that I'm staying here. 

Days go by and turns as months, months into years and years finally become our whole life.

Time takes its own time. Its never fast and never slow... Time is always on Time... ;)

One of my favourite childhood serial Mahabharat portrays time very well. Time says:

"Main Samay hoon. Mahabharat ke patra ye nahi jaante ki jo ho raha hai, wo kyun ho raha hai. Main Jaantha hun, kyunki main samay hun. main sab dekh raha tha, sab dekh raha hun aur sab kuch dekhta rahunga. Chup Chaap... Kyunki main Hastakshep nahi kar sakta, na hi aashirwaad de sakta hu... aur na hi shraap de sakta hu" ( I am Time. The characters of the epic, don't know, that why it is happening. I know. Because, I am Time. I have been and will be a silent spectator, because I cannot judge, I cannot bless and I cannot punish)

It is amazing to note that the reflections of these spinning arrows could turn into  musings on life. :)

The Spider's Web

"Welcome to XYZ Broadband services" (someone told me that we should not use brand names in public.. SIGH!.... )

"Please press Star to continue" 

* Pressed

"Dear Customer, Your Account No is four nine two .... To confirm, please press 1"

1 Pressed

"For technical assistance, please press 1"

1 pressed

"Kindly be online, while we transfer you to the next available executive. Your call may be recorded for internal training and assessment purpose"

Irritating music starts...  After some time...

"All our executives are busy. Kindly be online. Your estimate hold time is ONE minute"

Irritating music starts again.. After sometime..

"All our executives are still busy. Kindly be online. Your estimate hold time is ONE minute"

==============================================================

Just imagine, how must I be feeling to hear this again and again..

I was drifiting along, like a log of wood in water, for quite some time now. Life had ceased to be eventful. Neither was I progressing in any sphere of my life, nor was there a regression. It was the same monotonicity, day in and day out.  Plus NO NET CONNECTION makes me feel disconnected... Plus 6 day working... plus as mentioned above "All our executives are busy - from Internet provider". 

"WORLD WIDE WEB" has become the need of the day. And it has become one of the strands in our web of lives... In these thoughts, the philosophical ME comes out. From world wide web, my thoughts weave to the web of life.

How interconnected things are in life... Everything is connected to everything else in an infinite Web of relationships. There are these infinite connections, like the one between me and the farmer who grew the rice I eat.

So, when we want to walk in our path through life with the intent of growing our spirit, we must do so with the understanding that we cannot do so in isolation. Only by working simultaneously to balance and develop all of our aspects and working to promote the growth and development of the energy that surrounds us, can we hope to achieve our maximum potential in this lifetime. And to attain this potential, we should be aware that it often requires a series of zigzag stages, each unfolding into the next. We never know where those first uncertain, even shaky, steps will lead us, but we don’t really need to know that when we start out. We just need to accept that there will be some point in the future when we will look back and see that we have new capacities, new boundaries, new courage, and a whole new worldview.

"Although it is made of thin, delicate strands, the web is not easily broken. However a web gets torn everyday by the insects that kick around in it, the spider must build it when it gets full of holes. " - E.B.White

THORN BUSH has ROSES.. :)

Coming back from office on a rainy day, I was waiting for auto. "Auto... Auto... JNTU" I screamed. "NO", he said arrogantly. Few more autos went by without even replying. Another Auto came "JNTU...".  He was kind enough to reply, "Madam, no one will go to JNTU today. Rain water has blocked that route. You have to take another route". I was already wet with the merciless rain. "Why didn't I take umbrella", I cursed myself and was looking for any kind lady who would offer to share her umbrella with me. Alas! there was none .... I was worried about my mobile being wet...  I ran towards the other corner of the road to check for other route. "Auto... Miyap..", Before I could say miyapur, seven people grabbed it and this auto ran away with flooded candidates on it. Few more autos went away that way. After half an hour or so, a bus came "MIYAPUR" on its board; overflowing with CROWD. I somehow managed to enter it. I cursed everything on the planet, starting from rain to roads to auto drivers to car owners to the crowded bus and to my company which has not provided transport facility. Reached my room after 2 and a half hrs of journey. 

I was tired and was still cursing... 

Bed time, before I sleep, is the time when I tend to flashback the day for once. Flashback told me:

 "You reached office at 11.30 am, 2 hours late; no one complained; very few people have the luxury to reach office that late; just after 2 hrs session, you went for lunch- You had a tasty Biryani with Gulaab Jamun; many people cannot afford these meals. You enjoyed half an hour near the lake in your company premises. It was all so beautiful and pleasant; Very few companies in India are such well built. You went back to work and enjoyed the training period and had fun with your colleagues. Coming back from office the hunt for auto started..... You cursed everything that was going wrong, but never blessed anything that was going right."

I reminded myself that I should thank God for what has been given to me. I questioned myself for not being able to see the positivity in things.. Why?? Why am I becoming so complaining day by day??? This is not the usual me... If I cant do anything, I should not complain and If I complain, I should have something to do for it. 

This life is full of so many things and yet so devoid of many others. The more we get, the more we want. There is this endless chain of wants... "I want good friends, good work, good workplace, good amount of money, nice food, nice place to live in, nice transport, etc, etc. "  We keep on complaining for what we have or for what we don't have. There is no period, no full stop!!

Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.

I am in my trials to come out of this complaining attitude and to get into the mood called POSITIVITY! Are you??

P.S : I initially titled it as "A figment from the lake of thoughts", but later changed it to "Thorn Bush has ROSES" upon suggestion from one of my friends. Because, this title gives the gist of my post. Received this title with thanks... :)

Mission - Water CAN!!

It was 9 AM in the morning. Half bucket of water was available in wash room. Mom said, "I'm waiting since 5 AM for water. Please go and arrange some water cans.".. New thing for me!!... I said "I think Dad can arrange... Let me call. He is in office. He must be knowing".  " No need beta... There's a tea shop in the next lane. Ask him where we can get water cans", Mom said. But, the impatient ME was already on call.

"Hello, Dady, There's no water in home. Relatives too are there. Veena Aunty and Sharma Aunty may come in next 2 hours for satsang. what should I do? Where should I call? Do you have any phone number to call and arrange water??" I was speaking NON-STOP.

Dad with his patient voice asked "Entii ?? " (What?)

"Huh!! O Dady.. No Water. Please arrange", I said, this time in a shorter version.

"Oh... Hmmm... I had one contact of a water supplier.... Hmmm.... But.... I changed my mobile... That number is lost... Hmmm... Let me check..." 

After a long pause, he continued "Do one thing...There's a tea shop in the next lane. Ask him where we can get water cans"

"Okay! So, Audio replay in different voice this time", I thought and cursed myself for not listening to the first voice.

I brushed my teeth with one mug of water.  I said to myself, "Kindly adjust..." 

@ Tea Shop - "Bhaiyya, yahan paani kahan milega?" (Brother, where can I get water??)  He gave me a strange look and looked at the water bottle beside his Tea can. As guessed by his strange looks, he didn't know.
I saw one of my neighbours was passing by.  
"Namaste Uncle"
"Hello.. So, how's your vacation going?"
"Yeah..Good. Uncle, can you tell me, where can I get water cans here. Some water scarcity at home", I came to the point directly.
"Don't know. I'll inform you, in case I see any water seller", he said with a big smile.
"Thank you.. (but I wonder if you find him in an hour):, I thought.

I came back home and told the same story to mom. My peddananagaru (paternal uncle), who was listening to this, joined me in my hunt for water. After roaming in three to four lanes and asking almost every shopper and vendor, we finally got the address of the water supplier. 


"We need 6 water cans", I said.
"Bhara hua ya khali?" (Empty one or filled one?), he asked. 
"Of course, filled ones please!!" I said with the obviousness of the matter and gave our address with a sigh of relief. 
While coming back it started drizzling. "WATER - Ah.. What a relief!!", I smiled. Peddananagaru smiled back and said, "No wonder if a few years down the line, we buy the air we breathe!". 
Water is one of the most basic of all needs - And yet, we take water for granted. We waste water needlessly and don't realize that clean water is a very limited resource.


Save water, each drop is precious!
Please go through few tips to save water in the below link.
http://www.pubarticles.com/article-five-aspects-to-save-water-at-home-1251451885.html

The Indian Idle

Yes, who else it is, but me! And, what would a typical Indian Idle do? Yes, It's watching the Idiot Box - TV. ( Chatting, orkutting FB and Blogging on a parallel track)

The average Indian family is hooked to the TV shows which start from 7.30 PM and continue till 10.30 PM. After a long time, surfing the TV channels, I chose the below serials/ programs some of which I love to hate while watching.. ;)

1) Balika Vadhu - This half an hour program has less than one line of story. It begins with Anandi's cry and ends with the same. This serial was started with the motive to kinda eradicate child marriages in society. But, now it seems that the serial is encouraging it!! "Eeh! This should be banned", I say, every time I watch. 

2) Na aana iss des me LAADO - Eeh... The lesser I talk about it, the better. I change the channel, as soon as I see any of the character on TV. My mom insists "Laado aa raha hai, channel mat badlo". "Not again! Mom.. PLEASE! This serial is introducing cruelty in those SAASs who are not cruel... It shows the ways on how to be a BAD person... Don't watch this. So much grossness involved! Yak!" I start my lecture.... Mom says "Ok! I will watch the repeat telecast, with a sigh!"... SIGH!!!!

The list of daily soaps is unending, Bidaai, Behane, Sasuraal genda phool, Uttaran... etc, etc, etc. . Almost all serials have same plots. A cruel (saas) mother-in-law, a dutiful bahu (Bahu - Daughter in Law), another competing grey-shade bahu.. You can identify easily who is the villain in the story with the help of.. 1) Make-up and, 2)Back-ground music, when the person enters. Second marriages, illegal relationships, coming out from the mouth of death," "Pati is parmeshwar" (Husband is God) type dialogues" are so common in all these serials that its ODD to even see.

Now, coming to my favourite programs... 

1) Indian Idol - Music is something which has always attracted me. and, so has this program. The punch lines of the judges and the melodrama within too is interesting... Becomes irritating at times when unworthy candidates get more votes... I'm happy! Finally, Tia is out of Indian Idol 5. 

2) CID - I'm watching this serial since my childhood. I love to laugh at the comedy within this serial. The peculiar style of ACP Pradyuman with his waving right hand near his right portion of his head and a raised left eye-brow with the dialogue "Daya, pata lagao ki akhir chakkar kya hai!!!" or the only dialogue by Fredericks "Sir!!! Ye tho Marr gaya!!" is worth LOL. 

( Those who haven't seen CID, it is a series of detective stories, out of which 99% of the stories have the same ending - Inspector Abhijeet or Daya slaps the suspect and he agrees, "ahuhuhu" (that's a cry and not a laugh), "Han! maine hi khoon kiya.. Mujhe badla lena tha badla.. ahuhuhu")

3) Dance programs like boogie woogie, chak dhoom dhoom : small kids dancing look very cute and is worth watching. Again as I said above, Music attracts me...

4) India TV News channel : You can laugh out loud with the news in this channel. It always airs news with the content of "chamatkari dhongi baba" types... Now, this news channel has the capacity to show the oldest of the news as breaking news. Take Dhoni's marriage.. For 3 days, the channel was busy in investigating, 1) why he did not invite his fellow players. 2) where will he go for his honeymoon 3) with how many girls was he having an affair before his marriage and so on and so forth... "Are bhai! Give a break... let him live"

Ok Ok... Enough of these things, the list though is unending! I know, I have bored you enough for the day. 

I certify myself as the "Indian Idle" of this month, by watching TV at my best after 4 long years!! Thanks to those, who read my unworthy post. Wanna kill your time??? Read my post ...if you don't have TV by any chance... ;)

Mixed Bag of Emotions.. :) :D :O :(

"Aa gaye Beta, chutti leke??" is the common question every one asks when I reach home from Hyderabad. Hyderabad - My karma bhoomi, so far! And it is always a pleasant experience to say "Yes!!! I came on vacation." The love with which everyone receives makes you feel very special. and, I simply love this ;)
On a long vacation, this time, it feels great. 3 days passed and I'm loving the freedom of no work, mom's morsels , TV, phone calls from friends, waiting for Sunday to meet friends. It's all so exciting...
I feel the same anxiety which I felt before joining my first company. How would the place be? Will I be able to make good friends? How the work will be? Will I get to learn new things? when will I be transferred to Delhi/NCR? Will I be transferred at all at first place? Chalo, chodo bhai... abhi tho ek mahina ghar baithe maze karte hain, fir sochte hain....
And, with all this excitement, anxiety and happiness of being at my home, I have this slight twinge of leaving my present company. I never realised how and when I fell in love with my company, my colleagues and my workplace. They say, Idle mind is devils workshop, and so has become mine... now, whenever I sit idle, I think "what must be going on now at office.. ?" I get funny answers and I laugh at them and start smiling. One such answer:
Bunny must be eating the coconut with right hand and ice-cream melting with the heat surrounding.... Hehehe .


PS- I'm sorry for not giving description of the last line.. Those associated with me at my workplace shall understand it... ;) 
The purpose of writing this blog is just nothing. No wisdom Quotes, nothing preachy and nothing moralistic and idealistic like my other posts....
Its thinking out loud... straight from the heart!!!

Open Communication Vs Keeping Secrets

Why do we keep secrets?  I'm not talking about the Government Secrets, corporate secrets or technology secrets. I am talking of those which we keep as individual people. Do we keep them to protect ourselves? Or others we love? Are we afraid of being judged? Do we keep secrets out of fear? Are we afraid that by revealing our secrets that we will be rejected? Or is it just for prestige? Or do we fear that the other person will benefit more out of our hidden task...? or do we fear that people will be jealous of us??
I remember how as school kids, some of my friends used to hide things... important questions for exams, how much portion one has completed, etc.., etc..... I was never able to hide such things. I confess that I too tried to hide just because others are hiding, but, part of me, likes boasting about myself and hence always failed in hiding things :). I loved to tell how much I have read and told my friends how much ever I knew, whatever my wisdom said about important questions.. At the end of the examinations, I would come to know that what I knew was the least.... and, all others who were showing off that they know nothing are getting better marks and know more than what I do. 

Coming back to secrets, as in personal ones... We all have secrets. We all keep them for different reasons. But, the motive behind secrecy should be strong. You shall not tell all the personal things to every one, and, If you tell someone, you should not expect the secret to be kept. And, most importantly, when you tell a secret to someone saying that "It's Only You whom I told" - that should be a truth. I have personally faced it many times. I try to hide a secret which is told to me and I come to know that Its not just me who knows this 'so called' secret.
If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran
To keep up a secret, you may have two options to here: 1) Use of a Lie , or 2)Declining to answer when asked something related.
There are instances when I too have lied to keep up a secret.... and then felt guilt for the same, when at the end I understood that it was of no use. And, that guilt is never a pleasant experience, and I kept wondering "Why I lied???" 
Though, the second option is much better, but somewhere the internal peace seems to be lost.
I understood that you are a free bird when you are transparent and have open communication.. because you are not afraid of what anyone might think, because now it was all out there. “Let them judge me as they will”.


“Do nothing secretly; for time sees and hears all things, and discloses all.”

Casting out Casteism: Can you???

"Em Pilla, meeru evaru??" ("Hello girl..., who are you?", here 'who are you' signifies 'what caste you belong to'); this was among the first few questions asked when I entered my hostel, some 4 years back. I was not used to this type of questions. I'm brought up in a locality where almost people from most of the religions and most of the states live together. This question sounded odd to me...

Nevertheless,  I answered "Hmm.. Brahmin... why?" 

She was startled.. That's what I understood from her reaction. 

She asked "enti? Brahmin aa?" (What!, Brahmin?) giving some extra stress to the word "Brahmin".

"Why? What happenned?", I asked again. 

"Ah.. Nothing re... You don't look like a Brahmin, so...", she said. 

"Oh, is it??, By the way, I don't know how Brahmins look like... Please explain", I asked. 

She smiled this time and said, "Don't mind, but brahmins are generally of a fairer complexion". 

LOL, what an idea to identify the caste...  My mom says, "A TRUE BRAHMIN is one who has acquired brahminhood not by birth but through his noble actions." "Brahmin" in real sense means the one who has Brahma Gnana. It is not a caste. Ask anyone in today's generation and most often reply would be "One who eats only vegetarian food"... you may also get some weird replies like the man who has a V shaped or three horizontal Tilakams on forehead, or the man who wears a sacred thread (Woman, by default, is not of much importance in Indian society, she is known by the name of either father or Husband).... or  in worst cases as in the above incident "One who is of a fairer complexion!"


India has been a land obsessed by caste and has been unable to rise above it.  It is known to be “world’s biggest democracy” and ironically it is “world’s biggest social segregation" as well.  The caste system - a subtle and deeply rooted system of social differentiation and segregation - is without a doubt an exact opposite to the fundamental ideals of democratic practice.

I keep wondering why in this age, the great people of a great nation, can still be trapped in such a system of social segregation against fellow countrymen/women as caste. 

Most of the people in "so-called" modern society keep on flaunting to be heretic, but the fear of acceptance in their society makes them think the way presented in the cartoon here:  (The word "Brahmin" in the below cartoon can be changed with Reddy, Choudhary, Iyer, etc... etc... all the castes present). We forget that Society is made for man and not vice-versa. Take the recent worst cases of honor killings - Choose to have relationship outside of family's tribal affiliation and/or religious community AND YOU MAY BE KILLED... If not killed literally, you may be killed mentally as YOU ARE FORBIDDEN from the family. 

We - Indians boast a lot about having "UNITY IN DIVERSITY" but India is so much largely divided in terms of caste, region, religion, language and communities that Unity in true sense is next to impossible.
I dream of seeing a day in my life when people say that "I am a world citizen and the world is mine...Only 1 Caste exists and that is Humanity". Reminds me of a dialogue in Hindi Movie My Name is Khan where hero's  mother says, "The only difference between people is that there are good people and there are bad people."

We have to change society. We cannot change laws. We have to change society by changing ourselves, so that when we become law makers, may be for our next generations, at least then our world has a chance having new laws, sensible laws, laws which unite human beings and not divide them.

And then, Last Breath escapes my lips!

A lorry on the divider at cross roads trampled one of the pillars, a crushed bike was beneath it. I closed my eyes as I saw a broken helmet and blood flowing. The body was already taken out from the accident place, but the blood was still flowing. It was 5.30 a.m. when I happened to view this terrible scene from the window of my cab, while moving to office. There doesn't seemed to have any chances of the victim to be alive. I prayed for the soul. My mind was disturbed.
As the 8 hours in office passed, I kind of forgot the "View", and my shift ended well with a birthday celebration of one of my colleagues. I returned to the same cross-roads while walking towards my hostel. Lorry was no more there, crushed bike was no more there... the blood was cleaned up... but the broken helmet was still there, as if crying helplessly. Mind was disturbed again.
For two nights, the view of a lorry crushing a person brutally, haunted me like anything. No one knows what happens the next moment. One may or may not get the chance to think of God, while taking last breaths.

"Nothing in life is certain except Death." The quote reiterated in my mind.
Thanks to my colleague who gave me the link to this video. It gave me few answers to my unquestioned questions...




Lyrics are profound...
LAST BREATH
From those around I hear a Cry, 
A muffled sob, a Hopeless sigh,
I hear their footsteps leaving slow,
And then I know my soul must Fly!
A chilly wind begins to blow,
Within my soul, from Head to Toe,
And then, Last Breath escapes my lips,
It's Time to leave. And I must Go!
So, it is True (But it's too Late)
They said: Each soul has its Given Date,
When it must leave its body's core,
And meet with its Eternal Fate.
Oh mark the words that I do say,

Who knows? Tomorrow could be your Day,
At last, it comes to Heaven or Hell
Decide which now, Do NOT delay!
Come on my brothers let us pray
Decide which now, Do NOT delay!
Oh God! Oh God! I cannot see!
My eyes are Blind! Am I still Me
Or has my soul been led astray,
And forced to pay a Priceless Fee
Alas to Dust we all return,
Some shall rejoice, while others burn,
If only I knew that before
The line grew short, and came my Turn!
And now, as beneath the sod
They lay me (with my record flawed),
They cry, not knowing I cry worse,
For, they go home, I face my God!
Oh mark the words that I do say,
Who knows, Tomorrow could be your Day,
At last, it comes to Heaven or Hell
Decide which now, Do NOT delay !
Come on my brothers let's pray
Decide which now, do not delay ....

From Letters to Scraps

When is the last time you saw post man coming in a bicycle with a bag of letters??? For me, it is perhaps when I was in 9th standard or so.... 
To open the envelope from family members or friends, replying, and knowing that they will take time to write back to you was a great feeling. I remember how we used to make  greeting cards on special occasions for friends and spent hours in making them look the best. There is something special in the golden ribbon boundary of the cards, the smell of Fevicol, Blue ink and hand writing in personal letters and cards. I have saved a treasure of such Hand written letters and Hand-made cards and I love to see them, adore them even today.
Now-a-days, people don't much prefer to write. Whether personal or business related, people pick up a phone before they pick up a pen . Then again, I cant blame anyone, for I haven't written anything with a pen, for some months, except just the odd signature here or there. I get e-mails now, infact, I am getting more than my share of emails, and reading them, though gives me a lot of happiness , but still is no match to the hand written stuff. No one no more addresses anyone with "Dear ....", "Dearest and Nearest", "Respected", etc.. Emails begin with "Hi" and end with "Cheers"! Thanks to social sites like orkut and facebook, we have stopped the minimum formalities. We directly say "Wassup??" :)

The intimacy and the feelings with which people used to write letters seems to be lost. I wonder when I think about the past, when there was no mode of communication through technology, not even postal service. People had to wait for a pigeon to send  and receive letters. Remember "Kabutar ja ja" of "Maine pyar kiya". When you see it now,  it looks quite humorous... isn't it? But I salute to the patience that our earlier generations had.

No one in our generation wants to wait. We need everything instant: instant coffee, instant recipes, instant messaging and 2 minutes Maggi Noodles. :)

Give a break to the instant things, once in a while... Take time to write to your loved ones. Let your pen touch the crisp white paper and write your feelings out. It will be a nice experience...

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. 

— Ferris Bueller

Routine - sounds boring???

"Such a boring life!!!",I thought as I monitored the OS alerts at work. Same work, same cabin, same system, same cab, same room, same food every day... I'm bored of this routine and the repeated tasks.... I looked up and saw the roof of my office... "Eh! Fan is also not there", I thought.. I have this peculiar habit of looking at the rotating fan, whenever I feel bored. I closed my eyes, still head upwards, and my back rested on the chair. 
A question popped up from somewhere... "Is repetition and routine the key to life's boredom or is it the life's meaning?"  The question gave me a mild jerk and I sat straight. I was fully awake now.. I heard my heartbeats. It's repetition of the same beats throughout our existence. Our heartbeats, Our breathing, revolution of the Earth, the diurnal circles of the sun, everything needs repetition... My rotating fan too repeatedly rotates to make me feel the air... We need to sleep every day; we need to eat every day, etc, etc, etc.. ; and without undergoing all that repetition and routine -- we'll probably be dead.

My respect for the power of routine has increased dramatically after this episode.  I understood that most of the life is routine - sometimes it may be dull; but it is the momentum which keeps us going.

Beliefs and Values

Getting to know different people and their very different perspective on life is a great experience in itself. We get amazed when sometimes people don't behave in the way we expect them to. Some of the things or say basic ethics which we feel are very natural to any human may seem to be "Rocket science" for others. I have experienced this recently and was wondering and pondering over these thoughts.

I believe that the basic difference among the people comes from beliefs and values one has. There are many influences in society that could affect our beliefs and values. It probably starts from the influence of our cultural backgrounds, our parents, our communities, our schools and teachers, our books. And, we also form our own beliefs from individual life experiences and observations.

Eventually, we figure out an optimal path guided by our values -- matched to our personality, environment, responsibilities, health, etc. But our beliefs and values can change with time. Changing beliefs and values will shift one's fundamental goals, motivations, attitudes, behavior -- our direction in life.

"Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is."

--Bhagavad Gita

Colors of Life

Holi went by yesterday. Some of the girls were playing with colors. I was not much interested. I remembered the good old days of my childhood, when Holi was the time to play, play and play...It usually occurred during the Final exams in the academic year and that was really sad. I remember how we used the water from the tanks upstairs and poured water on every person passing by. 
Holi is a time to reach out with the colors of joy. It is the time to love and forgive. It is the time when one can express the happiness of being loved and to be loved through colors. Holi is a special time of year to remember those who are close to our hearts with splashing colors! I see Holi, not as a religious festival, but as a social festival in which all the colors of castes, creeds, regions and religions shall be mixed up.
So, coming back to reaching the colors of joy, I spent the day by watching the colors of nature. Isn't color an integral part of our life? We know the colors of the rainbow as a natural progression; we know how (white) light breaks into the same rainbow colors through a crystal prism or through water. When the sun sets we go through the same array of colors again, though amber and deep blue are the dominant colors. At mid-day we have this crisp cool white light. A glance at any natural scene provides many examples of the mysteries of colors. There are so many different colors of life, of feelings and of expressions. I wonder at God's creation!

A Random thought!

We all have thoughts frequently popping-up in our minds. How much ever hard you try, sometimes they just don’t leave us.   You're doing something; but the mind works on its own thoughts many a times. Ever experienced the feeling of "I WANT TO SLEEP NOW! Hey, THOUGHTS! Please don't disturb me!"? 

Sometimes I do imagine myself opening the Task Manager of my mind and killing the process "Thought.exe", when I am actually fed up... And, if I'm feeling extremely bad for some reason, I imagine myself doing "Shift+delete" to permanently delete the sadness or bad thoughts associated with it. Or, if I am angry, just delete the anger to recycle-bin.  Sometimes, these funny things work and sometimes they don’t. It depends upon the WILL with which the suggestion is given to your mind. 

It may sound quite absurd for some, but being a windows system admin, I sometimes tend to implement a few things on my own system :)

I feel that when a man-made machine, computer has this option, how can the God's greatest creation - Man, does not have this option? We delete the unwanted files timely to keep our system clean. Why can't we do the same thing with our own human system - The heart and the mind? 

The thoughts come and go. If we thoroughly understand, a thoughtless state exists, but we are too much connected with thoughts, we either take too much interest in them or we hate them, and both are not too good for us. We should do a timely cleaning depending upon the threshold of the mind and the heart to take it up. In my opinion, this will result in a peaceful life... 

Any thoughts popping up after reading this??