My colleague recently created her blog site - theworkingwoman.in. This site is open to take contributions from other writers and I was already excited that this may give me the required push to continue writing. I started consciously attempting to think what can be a good topic for this site.
"The working woman" - The title already gave me a good feel. I gave a pat on my back myself . I am THE Working woman - The SUPER working woman.
But reflecting on the superpowers and victorious womanhood, it occurred to me- Do we ever give the chance to men to get the same feeling? How about the Working Man? Or say the homemaker husband.? Majority of our society will laugh at both the titles - the first one being very obvious and second one being very odd. Women have the privilege to use both the titles "the working woman" and "the homemaker wife" for our self pride.
Please don't get me wrong here, ladies. I am a feminist and I do realize the challenges that a woman faces in this patriarchal society. I do realize that even today, a large portion of our women population is underprivileged and the feminism movement should carry on - for the underprivileged, oppressed women. I do realize that in the current situation at work place, women need some level of flexibility in order to manage both work and life - especially the working mothers.
But then, there are many among us, who don't really understand and appreciate equalism. In my 12 years of career, I have worked with many female associates and I have witnessed many who always have the woman card on board. Not making the post very lengthy, will just give 2 examples :
Scene1 -
Conversation between me and a female colleague:
Colleague - I got a marriage proposal.
Me- wow, great. So, what happened?
Colleague - I had a good conversation with him. Lives in the same city. Works in MNC. All was fine. But....
Me - But?
Colleague - He feels that both partners should work to have a better living. Implies that he wants me to continue working after marriage.
Me - So what? I think he is right. Don't you want to work after marriage?
Colleague - I do want to work. But that should be my choice, not his compulsion. It implies that he is incapable of managing finances without my help.
Now, think about it - are we ever ok if the man says that earning or not earning must be his own choice. Then why do we want to take that leverage.
Scene 2-
Conversation between me and the same female colleague:
Colleague - I got a marriage proposal.
Me- wow, great. So, what happened?
Colleague - I had a good conversation with him. Lives in the same city. Works in MNC. All was fine. But....
Me - But?
Colleague - He feels that their should be balance and that is achieved if wife is a homemaker, especially after kids. Implies that he wants me to leave job after marriage or kids.
Me : Doesn't it also imply that he is financially very capable. ;)
Colleague- Why should I sacrifice my job?
Husband and wife should be complementing each other and not competing with each other. It should more be about fulfilling the needs of the moment and sharing the load.
If the men of the family work on daily household chores - it is just ok - nothing super great about it - nothing to laugh about it. And if the women work in the office - it is equally just ok - nothing super great about it.
In ideal scenarios, we should be able to share the load, share the responsibilities and succeed together in life without any prejudices, insecurities and fear. We need to strike the right balance between being a Feminist and being an humanist.
"No more stereotypes" is far from reality for now and I cant say that I absolutely don't have stereotypes for anyone- but we can always consciously attempt to be better individuals.
Well written. Past generations, where duties were categirised between men and women. Men should go out and earn. Relax at home. Women should take care of house and kids. But now both are working and both manage to do household works. People need to be more understanding. Ego comes when their thinking will be the activities they consider as not their activity. Like cooking.. If man thinks its not his role to prepare food.. And if one day if he prepare he think he did help or although its not his duty he did that.. This thinking is also ego. People should think its their share of responsibility where my wife or me do with their time and convienience. If my wife not able to do., i should do. ..
ReplyDeleteI agree.
DeleteYes men and women should be on equal footing.But old habits do not change easily. It will take lots of effort and time to break these stereotypes. But at least a bigenning has been made.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and reading the post. I agree with you. It wwil take lot of efforts.
DeleteThe first scene is very interesting. It did not occur to me earlier.
ReplyDeleteI agree there is a need to be equality between both, though sometimes patriarch tend to make it tough with stupid rules. Agree with your thoughts on the issue where both scenarios are interesting.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully put, nice read. What else I can say my dear friend, loved this thought provoking thought.
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