They say "Silence is Golden, while Speech is Silver". I agree.
Silence is probably the best thing to practice when you want to connect with your inner self. It is the best thing to practice when an argument is going nowhere. It is also the best policy when we don't want to soak in other's negativity. When we are silent and introspect on our evolution, it surely helps us in becoming a better self. It has a medicinal quality that brings out the best in us. When in deep silence you ask your heart, "Am I going in the right path? ", it responds and shows you the direction ahead - That's the magic of the golden silence.
But then, it is not always golden. We must understand this. When we use it to withhold an emotion or an expression, it becomes toxic and dangerous.
Recently watched this movie Thappad. It is a thought provoking movie without a doubt and I loved the screenplay and the way the story line was projected and Tapsee's acting as a submissive wife with too many emotions. But, I was not convinced with the solution that the story provides. Does the divorce give her the happiness that she wanted?? The couple lost the happiness forever. Agreed, the husband was obnoxiously self centered. But did she open up to tell her feelings? After all, she loved him. But she was expecting him to know what she is feeling all by himself. Not just her, but her mother-in-law remains silent. She never speaks to his son and tells him that he should apologize to his wife. Nobody in the family (even her father) opens up about the issue and brainstorm to resolve it. Everyone remains silent, causing the death of a relationship.
Here is where, I feel that Silence is not Golden. Passive aggressive people hurt so much. Sometimes, it is not the confrontation or argument that hurts as much as silence hurts. It eats up like a termite and drains all your energies. Below are the few situations when silence becomes toxic:
When somebody needs your support - The scene in Thappad, when Taapsee doesnt sleep the whole night -- Mother-in-law knowing it very well that she is hurt and needs emotional support, remains silent and asks her if her son slept well in the night.
Remember the first day in your office? If you have good memories about that day, it is because there was someone who was not silent. And, if you have bitter memories, it is because perhaps everyone around you was silent or busy in his/her own work.
When you need to take a stand - If you know for sure that someone has been wronged, you should not be pretending as if you didn't notice. If someone is bullying you, you cannot remain silent. Tapsee's brother's fiance does that beautifully - Taking a stand and supporting her even if that seems like costing the relationship with her fiance.
After a Clash or war of words- When you choose to not break silence long after the episode, it is as if you are holding a grudge. It creates irreparable knots in the heart that can turn out into some ailment. Not responding to an apology message doesn't unburden you. Forgiving and forgetting alone liberates you.
Can you think of other situations when it is not golden?? Drop in your comments!
So dear friends... Silence works and is Golden only if it is practiced for self evolution.
If you think that you can take revenge by remaining silent, please remember that it is gonna hurt you as much too. It is a two-sided knife which only gives pain. If you think that by being silent, you are just being submissive to save the relationship, that too is building up a volcano of knots inside you if you are not truly forgiving and forgetting.
Practice Speech - Good speech. Try to remain calm but not silent (easier said than done, though) . Sometimes speech may go aggressive way, try and control it, But if damage is already done, Apologize. Forgive if someone apologizes. Simple!
Stay peaceful! Stay Blessed!
