Friday, June 11, 2010

Open Communication Vs Keeping Secrets

Why do we keep secrets?  I'm not talking about the Government Secrets, corporate secrets or technology secrets. I am talking of those which we keep as individual people. Do we keep them to protect ourselves? Or others we love? Are we afraid of being judged? Do we keep secrets out of fear? Are we afraid that by revealing our secrets that we will be rejected? Or is it just for prestige? Or do we fear that the other person will benefit more out of our hidden task...? or do we fear that people will be jealous of us??
I remember how as school kids, some of my friends used to hide things... important questions for exams, how much portion one has completed, etc.., etc..... I was never able to hide such things. I confess that I too tried to hide just because others are hiding, but, part of me, likes boasting about myself and hence always failed in hiding things :). I loved to tell how much I have read and told my friends how much ever I knew, whatever my wisdom said about important questions.. At the end of the examinations, I would come to know that what I knew was the least.... and, all others who were showing off that they know nothing are getting better marks and know more than what I do. 
Coming back to secrets, as in personal ones... We all have secrets. We all keep them for different reasons. But, the motive behind secrecy should be strong. You shall not tell all the personal things to every one, and, If you tell someone, you should not expect the secret to be kept. And, most importantly, when you tell a secret to someone saying that "It's Only You whom I told" - that should be a truth. I have personally faced it many times. I try to hide a secret which is told to me and I come to know that Its not just me who knows this 'so called' secret.
If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran
To keep up a secret, you may have two options to here: 1) Use of a Lie , or 2)Declining to answer when asked something related.
There are instances when I too have lied to keep up a secret.... and then felt guilt for the same, when at the end I understood that it was of no use. And, that guilt is never a pleasant experience, and I kept wondering "Why I lied???" 
Though, the second option is much better, but somewhere the internal peace seems to be lost.
I understood that you are a free bird when you are transparent and have open communication.. because you are not afraid of what anyone might think, because now it was all out there. “Let them judge me as they will”.


“Do nothing secretly; for time sees and hears all things, and discloses all.”

4 comments:

  1. quite interesting... how would you come up with this subject ? And the quote is simple superb.. nice collection.

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  2. Such a simple yet valid subject..true.. as u rightly pointed out, sometimes ppl get secretive fearing they wud be judged-or they want project themselves diffly.And sometimes secrets r shared out of getting over-enthu.ex: u have a great job offer @ hand & u dont want to share it with ur colleagues till everythingz finalised-but the josh takes over & u end up blurting it out sometimes even to wrong ppl.If we watch out our urge to seek attention/fear of being judged, we avoid complications. :)

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  3. Don't know what to comment. Sort of alien topic to me. Although I know a lot of persons (me included) who keeps secrets that got disclosed at a certain point of time.

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  4. The biggest guru-mantra is: never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you.- Chanakya
    I can personally testity to what the Great Chanakya says.
    Not everyone is capable of handing truths or secrets...Only certain trustworthy people can bear it.

    Time may certainly disclose all, but we can do our best to suppress it as long as its potent. It had been done in past and would continue in future.

    But honestly I'm very surprised that a worldly-smart gal like you writes with so much idealism!!! Is it another form of your smartness? :-) Hahaha (just kidding !!)

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